I don’t think my parents know how much it meant for me to get into UCLA. They only went up to primary school. They expected me to go to community college. To them it’s the same thing. You’re going to be farther away and have to pay more. I’m like, “Yeah, but it’s a really, really good school.” They saw how big it was, and how other people’s parents were really, really excited.
When I first started college I was like, “Oh my God, I’m going to fail everything.” My writing was really bad. But it’s not that hard. I’m getting As and Bs. For next year I’m going to try to do more things with the art history association. I was in arts club at school. I’d love to talk about what the art meant and ideology. There weren’t a lot of people you could talk to about art in my high school in a really critical way.
I really want to have a gallery. Not a museum. I don’t think museums really become involved in art until it becomes mainstream or awesome. I’d like to put on a gallery of artists that are working at that time, whose art is going to end up in museums. (more…)
I’m wearing high tops because I just found them again. I’m wearing fishnets because it was cold outside. And I’m wearing the skirt because my friend gave it to me. And I’m wearing a Dead Kennedys shirt because they’re a good band.
I was raised by two people that were part of the punk scene here, so I was raised listening to the Ramones and the Clash and stuff like that. But the first band I got into on my own was the Dead Kennedys so they’re really important to me.
My dad was a drummer in a punk band, and my mom never played many instruments but she was at shows a lot. I think they’re proud of me. My mom works weekends, but my dad is usually at our shows. Sometimes he’s like, “You should do it like this!” And you know, sometimes I get weirded out by the fact that I might be following in my parent’s footsteps. (more…)
Ever since I was little we were raised Methodist. Not by my mom because she’s not very church-y but people in the family were very Protestant in their beliefs. I just never really got the whole idea of one God, and why it just had to be a man and there wasn’t any feminine aspect to anything. So I researched and I talked to people that were of other religions and Paganism was the only religion that came from the heart and made sense to me.
Paganism is a very old religion; 15,000 years-old, approximately. We worship nature. There are male and female aspects of the God and the Goddess and everything on Earth. We hold the Earth sacred, and worship it as a divine being in itself.
I was in a group of people who worshiped together, but that broke up mostly because our high priestess decided that she didn’t want the thing going on at her house because her mom wasn’t accepting of it. So it was hard to arrange meetings, and barely anybody showed up half the time. It was kind of a waste. So I’ve been worshiping solitarily since middle school. (more…)
I am dating a girl from North Carolina I met online. She came and visited me on July 4th. It was fun. She introduced me to her family who lives here actually. This surprised me that she introduced me to them because we are both Hmong.
This is my second time dating a Hmong girl. I mean, the first time I dated a Hmong, I didn’t think it was right because I felt like since being Hmong, we all are related, so I thought it felt weird at first. But love is love.
I came out to my friends as a lesbian between seventh and eighth grade year. Now my brothers and sisters know but my parents do not know. My dad doesn’t accept it because the Hmong culture doesn’t really accept the fact that two women or two men would get married and not have kids from their own blood. That’s the traditional way. (more…)
The most exciting part about associating as bisexual is that you don’t have to choose who to love. If you meet this wonderful woman and you’re straight, it’s like “Well I’m straight, what am I gonna do?“ I don’t believe that love exists based on gender or gender roles. I already have the ability to love anyone so it’s kind of just what happens, happens. And I go with it.
The reason I associate as bisexual is not that I can’t decide. But I feel weird when I say I’m bisexual because from both sides, both the gay and straight, whatever that is, people don’t take bisexual people as seriously as they do one or the other. I think it’s because of the stereotype of young, naive girls attempting to get the wrong kind of attention from guys with that, oh let’s get drunk and kiss, I’m bicurious. It’s hard to be associated with that image when I open up and tell people about my sexuality.
I talk to my mom about almost everything so in 7th grade I was just like, “Mom I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual,” And she did what most people do when they hear bisexual. She was like, “Oh that’s a phase. You’ll get over it and you’ll decide which one you really want.” And I was like, “Okay, probably not.” But we’ll see. She promised her support either way. (more…)
I switched schools because of bullying. There was a lot of harassment, and people calling me a lot of names. Fag, dyke, tranny. Nobody would do much about it, even my principal. I was like, screw this, I might as well go to a different school.
There’s more LGBT-friendly people at this school. I’m the only trans kid at school. It kind of gives me a little more pressure. What people see from me they kind of expect from other trans people. At the same time, it’s pretty awesome. I feel like I have to set an example in a way.
I like to go by “Mizter.” I made it up myself. I’m more male than female, but I’m not scared to feel feminine. (more…)
What’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through? I know the answer to this. I was actually diagnosed with anorexia in 2007, a while ago. It was kind of like OCD. It started out as a diet and I just couldn’t stop because I kind of go all-out on things. It goes along with how I get fixations with cartoons; how I used to obsessively redraw Bart Simpson.
It was something where I set up a meal plan for myself that was really low on any intake, and I couldn’t break from it. I’m at a healthy weight now, and have a meal plan set up by a dietician, but it’s something I still deal with every single day. I think very obsessively about what I eat. I think it’s that I don’t trust myself.
The anorexia initiated me going to therapy every month, and I think the therapy grounded me to be a successful person. I really like the way I developed and I feel like I maybe wouldn’t have gotten here if I didn’t try to solve my problems in therapy. It helped me with my problems of religion and cynicism about the world.
I kind of consider myself a born-again-atheist. I’m kind of a fake pseudo-Buddhist despite my materialistic tendencies. I was raised Lutheran, but through my own thought found my way out of it. It was a difficult time; to feel like I was losing a part of myself. I couldn’t believe in God if I even tried anymore. It disturbed me, because something that made me feel like everything was going to be okay was gone. When I was more religious I used to feel more connected to things. I feel disconnected from it now. But that gives me comfort that I can live independently as an individual. (more…)
I’m the youngest of six kids and all my other siblings graduated from school in Colfax, but it was not the academic atmosphere I wanted to be in. In seventh grade, we had kids looking up porn and just goofing around while the teachers did nothing. So my mother allowed me to go to a private school, Pella Christian. My first impression was that it was absolutely wonderful because kids were held accountable for their actions, and I thought it was a really good learning environment.
Unfortunately, due to the religious aspects, it was extremely hateful. I was raised Catholic and the school was Protestant Reform, and I faced a lot of heat for that alone. They said I was polytheistic or my beliefs were weird. There were also instances where we had sermons that were extremely anti-gay. I remember sinking down in my chair and being so ashamed because that was when I was starting to come to accept myself as a lesbian.
I was out to my mom and online, but not to anyone in person, per se. And that was really difficult because I felt extremely alone. During chapel my freshman year, all my friends would be singing these hymns of joy and I would just be weeping. I played it off like I was so emotionally moved by God’s words, but really I was devastated because of them. (more…)
My dad and I weren’t super-close, so I didn’t feel I had to come out to him. But then September of last year I went to donate blood for the Red Cross, and I answered truthfully, and wasn’t able to donate blood. I remembering thinking, That’s a thing? It was the first time I felt discriminated against because of my sexuality.
I was so mad, and I posted a status about it on Facebook. My dad saw it, and he called me the next day. He was really hurt I hadn’t told him. He actually cried that night. I had dinner with him and my sister, who always knew. My dad said he wanted to change the fact that we weren’t close. The air between us is a lot different now.
My coming out story to my mom is kind of funny. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I was sitting upstairs in my pajamas watching What Not to Wear and my mom comes upstairs and had clearly had a little wine, and a margarita or two. (more…)
I’m very into Marilyn Monroe. Yes, she was successful, but she had a lot of brokenness to her. I feel like I just put on a good face, but I’m not okay sometimes. So I kind of click with her in that way. Before I went to Boys Town, I’d take pills all the time. I could stop whenever I wanted, but I didn’t want to stop. She had that problem too.
I went to Boys Town because I was going through a lot of stuff. I wasn’t going to school, so that got me a truancy case, and then I got in a fight, so I got a couple of assault tickets. The fight was mostly my fault. I got my anger out, but she ended up winning because I got put on probation.
After the fight, my school had an evaluation done: Should you stay with your mom, should you go to jail, or go to a group home? They ended up saying I should go to a group home. (more…)
It’s not like I try to hide it, but I don’t want to be known as a gay musician. I want to be a musician who’s gay. I don’t want my personal life to be public in that sense. I used to write about stuff I didn’t know anything about. I’m still writing the same things, but now I know about them. Like relationships. Not necessarily romantic relationships all the time. I don’t want to be like Taylor Swift. Well, maybe that success level, some day.
My parents are very supportive of music. They drive me everywhere. I come from a very open, artistic, non-religious family. Antigonish, Nova Scotia is also known as the Little Vatican. It’s extremely Catholic. My family are “CFAs”–come from aways. My mom’s from Calgary, and my dad’s from England. We moved there when I was in Grade 6 because my dad got a job running the live theater.
Even though it’s a small town, the religious stuff is the older generation. Though I was in one class and my friend’s boyfriend tried to tell me I was diseased because I was gay, and I just looked him right in the eye and told him to fuck off. I told him it’s pretty shitty how many people have fought and died over the years for gay rights, and an ignorant kid sitting in class is telling me I’m diseased, so shut the fuck up. (more…)
I met my girlfriend through the fellowship I was accepted to sophomore year. We clicked because — same-sex problem — we’re both named Victoria, and there was name-tags on the table and we both reached for the same name tag. We talked about gender study stuff and had a good conversation, and then she asked for my number.
We’ve been dating a little over a year now. This is the most adult relationship I have ever been in. My parents didn’t like her at first, but not because she was a woman or anything. My girlfriend before her was Filipino, and knew all about Filipino culture and went to church. They kind of took her on as her daughter. And here comes my new girlfriend all white and talking about women’s issues and how God doesn’t exist and God is a woman and things like that.
But even though she doesn’t practice a religion, she goes to church with us on Sundays because she knows it’s something my family does. She spends time with my my parents, goes to family gatherings with me, and is even picking up Tagalog quickly. She showed my parents that their presumptions were misguided. (more…)